Here we NaNoWriMo Again...

For those unfamiliar with it, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month, also known as November, also known as a bunch of crazy people sign up to write 50,000 words in one month and then pull their hair out of their head trying to make their daily and weekly word counts, but if it all goes well, at the end of it, they have a novel. Or the beginning of a novel. Or something like that.

Right.

So, NaNoWriMo.

It’s a pretty lofty goal for just about anyone. 50,000 words in a month average out to a little over 1600 words per day. That may not sound like a lot, but look at it this way, this post? 560words. Yeah…1,600 words is a lot. Especially because writing a novel requires a story, characters, and it requires you to be able to keep that story going…writer’s block has a tendency to set in when you’re facing a deadline. At least it does for me. Add to that the fact that I work a 9-5 job, and have about 18 million other commitments coming up for the month of November and…well, yes, I’m absolutely insane for signing up for NaNoWriMo.

And yet, the challenge adds to it an element of urgency which forces me to focus and actually sit down and write daily. I’ve done it for at least two years now, completing the 50,000 word goal last year for the first time.

Truth be told, the novel I began last year has sat pretty much untouched since December 1^st, but I have high aspirations of returning to it one day.

In the meantime, this year, I decided to bend the rules a WEEE little bit and pick up my eternal work in progress. The novel I began writing well over a decade ago and have yet to finish. Technically, this is a no-no for NaNo, as you are supposed to start from scratch. However, I believe the true spirit of NaNo is to get writers to WRITE, and the rest of the rules are more like “suggestions” for me.

Also, I really love the characters in that novel, and they have been begging me to finish their story for ages. I feel now is the time to do so. And, in all fairness to the rest of the NaNoWriMo participants, it is “almost” as if I’m writing a brand new novel, because, you see…besides the fact that I love my two main characters, and have previously rewritten the prologue to the novel…I’ve scrapped pretty much the entirety of the remainder of it. I decided that as much as I love the character, I hated the existing story. In the last decade of so, I have grown, I have changed, and so have they.

They have matured, they have formed new attitudes and created new lives for themselves, and the old story line just wasn’t working anymore. So I tossed it.

I can’t even tell you where this one is going, because I haven’t the slightest idea. I just know that my two characters, who I have loved and known for over a decade now, have a story to tell, and I am merely the medium. I’ll type the words, but they’ll be guiding them.

I can’t wait to see what they have to show me.

So off we go then...

Who's That Girl?

I have always prided myself on not being “that girl”. You know the one. The girl who’s sole purpose in life is to find “the one”. No matter where she is, or what she is doing, she’s on the lookout for Mr. Right.

The success or failure of any night out on the town depends solely on whether she met a guy, and if there are no available single men present, then the evening is a bust.

I have never been that girl.

When I am out, with friends, by myself, or among my family, I am out for the purpose of enjoying myself. I go about my business, sometimes completely oblivious to the number of eligible (or otherwise) men in the room.

I’m not on the prowl, never have really been, and if a man happened to approach me, that was simply considered a nice bonus to the evening. Unless he happened to be creepy, in which case, it just added humor to the situation.

And yet, lately, I have to admit that I’m seeing more of “that girl” in me. Still not solely focused on “the hunt”, but more aware of my surroundings. It appears the “single man” radar has been turned on, and I’ll be damned if I know how to shut this thing off.

Perhaps that annoying little biological clock which I swore I wasn’t programmed with has indeed awakened in me. Maybe seeing 35 right around the corner has kick started some sort of timer. Maybe it has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with my new found confidence in this new, slimmer body of mine. I’m once again feeling flirtier, and therefore more hyper aware of potential flirtees?

Whatever the case, I find that I’m more focused on the opposite sex, on “potential talent” as my friend Traveler calls it.

When I head out now, be it to the grocery store or a night out with the girls, I’m paying attention.

And the thing that really gets to me is, I’m also aware of my disappointment when, at the end of any such outing, I come up empty. No “talent” to speak of, no potential “Mr. Right” anywhere in sight.

Even more disappointing are those rare occasions when I meet someone with all the right potential only to discover he’s wearing a ring. (I met one such gentleman this weekend in the midst of my travel disaster Thursday, and he was simply adorable, charming, flirtatious and…married).

And there’s that…I’ve never been one to notice wedding rings before. EVER. And now? One of the first things I look at.

When did I become that girl? And how do I make her go away? Cause I’m pretty sure I don’t like her invading my body. She’s not welcome and she's kind of annoying.

VIsit the White Mountains With Me

Last month I took a weekend trip to the White Mountains in New Hampshire with my family. You can read all about that little nostalgic getaway in this post. What that earlier post didn't contain, however, were any of the pictures I took while up there. The sights at the top of those mountains are so breathtaking that words can't really describe them. So, I'll let the pictures speak for themselves:

This last one is of the mountain where the famous "Old Man of The Mountain" used to be, before it collapsed in 2003. Sort of a bittersweet shot:

I Realize

I stole this from Melissa last week, because I thought it was a great way to share a little bit more about "who I am" to my new readers, and have a little fun in the process with ALL of you...I invite you to join in and do your own. (Note: Melissa's list (click on the link) has a few more questions than my own...I took a few out because...well...because I didn't like them. lol)

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size...is what it is, and women pay thousands of dollars for what I was given naturally by God, so I might as well make peace with it.

2. I've come to realize that my job...does not define me, but it sure helps when I enjoy what I do for a living.

3. I've come to realize that when i'm driving alone...I play music WAY too loud.

4. I've come to realize I need...to admit my weaknesses in order to become stronger.

5. I've come to realize I have lost...my fear of looking foolish, I embrace my silliness.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...I hurt someone unintentionally.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...I'm probably falling asleep, I know...boring.

8. I've come to realize that money...is necessary, but should not be the driving force behind anything you do.

9. I've come to realize that certain people...are not meant to be a part of your life.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always...try harder.

11. I've come to realize that my sibling(s)...has grown up to be a pretty decent young man.

12 I've come to realize that my mom...is my best friend, but then, I've always known that.

13. I've come to realize that my dad...is the sweetest, kindest, most patient and laid back man I know.

14. I've come to realize that tomorrow...we get a chance to do it all over again.

15. I've come to realize that I really want to...live every day to the utmost.

16. I've come to realize that somewhere someone...needs a hug.

17 I've come to realize that life...really is short, don't waste it.

18. I've come to realize that this weekend...was a great one to recharge my batteries.

19. I've come to realize that the best music to listen to when I'm upset...is old school stuff that makes me giggle.

20. I've come to realize that my friends...are amazing.

21. I've come to realize that this year...I have traveled A LOT.

22. I've come to realize that my ex(s)...taught me a lot about myself, but I'm glad they're my "exes". ;-)

23. I've come to realize that maybe I should...stop procrastinating so much.

24. I've come to realize that I love...everything about life.

25. I've come to realize that I don't understand...a lot about human nature.

26. I've come to realize my past...has made me who I am today.

27. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...of the idea of "nothingness".

28. I've come to realize that my life...is a blessing.

Re-Run Wednesday - 200 things (well...50)

As I stated last week, on Wednesdays I'm going to be revisiting some of my old posts, so I figured what better place to start than the 200 things about me series I did in 2007? I'll start with the first 50...with some edits and commentary (because I can never just do a "copy/paste" post...come on folks, you know me...I'm a talker.

So I give you - 200 things about me: - The first 50

1. I was born in Africa

2. Specifically, I was born in Luanda, capital city of Angola a country on the western coast of Africa.

3. Angola was a Portuguese colony at the time, and my parents both moved there as youngsters, met and were married there, and had me.

4. That last one wasn't really about me, but it was about my history so it counts.

5. I left Africa when I was 8 months old, for Portugal

6. I lived in Portugal until I was almost, but not quite, 10 years old.

7. While I lived in Portugal, we moved 9 times.

8. I have wonderful memories of my childhood in Portugal, and even though money was tight, I only remember ever being happy and thinking we had it all.

9. My brother was born when I was 9 years old and became the love of my young life.

10. To this day my brother and I have a bond like few siblings I know. I don't think we've ever had a "real" fight, and I love that even now, at 23 he still comes to me for advice and support. (he's 25 now, but the rest is true).

11. I'm really proud of the man my brother is finally growing up to be. (yep, more and more each day)

12. I left Portugal for the U.S. the day before my 10th birthday.

13. I became a U.S. citizen at the age of 17 (I think) because my parents took the citizenship test while my brother and I were still minors so we'd become citizens automatically.

14. I have now lived in this country about three times as long as I lived in Portugal.

15. I consider myself to be an American in every way that matters.

16. I think this country is flawed in many ways, and wish we'd do a better job of being Americans.

17. That said, I'm proud to be an American, love the freedoms and opportunities that this country has afforded me, and don't plan on ever living anywhere else.

18. However, I do have fantasies of retiring to some tropical beach somewhere in Mexico or Jamaica, and won't completely rule out that possibility.

19. Since moving to the U.S. I've moved 5 times, the first four within the same city, the last time to the next town over, about 5 minutes from my parents' house.

20. I live about 45 miles north of Boston.

21. I went to college in Boston, at Suffolk University.

22. Suffolk was a commuter school at the time, so I never had a "campus" college experience.

23. I don't have a problem with that.

24. My time at college was what "they" say high school should be. "The best four years of your life"...or something like that.

25. College was really an eye opening experience for me, I learned a lot about myself, about life, about others.

26. While in college, I went to school full time, worked full time, and still managed to have time for a pretty darn active social life.

27. I also managed to keep a GPA above a 3.5 the entire time I did the above.

28. My major in college was Communication and Journalism because I wanted to be a reporter or just any kind of writer when I "grew up".

29. I had a minor panic attack my junior year in college when I realized I'd never get a paying job doing the above, and I had way too much debt to risk it, so I added a paralegal minor when most other students were taking the "rocks for jocks" sorts of classes.

30. Suffolk is NOT a sports school, our most celebrated sport at the time was soccer, but the only one we all partipated in attending was intramural basketball. Which was HUGE and I loved going to see.

31. Therefore, I never experienced the "college" sports phenom that seems so widespread in this country.

32. So, most of our extracurricular activities involved more cerebral or artistic pursuits.

33. On that note, I joined the Forensics team my junior year in college. (Yep, along with adding a minor and working full time).

34. No, Forensics doesn't actually have anything to do with dead bodies and CSI investigations. It's just a fancy word for the Speech and Debate Teams

35. I was actually pretty good at this Speech stuff, and won several awards in my short time on the team.

36. With the Forensics team I was able to travel to several schools in the New England and New York area for competitions, and also to a national competition in Flagstaff, Arizona.

37. That trip to Arizona is pretty much when the travel bug bit me long and hard, and hasn't let go yet.

38. One of the speeches I delivered was an informative speech on Pez (yes, the candy). Go ahead, ask me anything about it's history, I can tell you.

39. From the time I was young my dad would tell me that I should become either a lawyer or a politician because of how much I loved to debate.

40. At one point I had aspirations of going to law school and becoming a hot shot Boston lawyer, litigating major cases like you see them do on Law and Order type shows.

41. I knew, however, that it's not exactly like that in the real world, so decided to work in a law firm as a paralegal for a while after college, to decide if that was in fact the world for me.

42. It is now 10 years later, I'm at my fourth law firm, and still working as a paralegal. Obviously, I decided against law school. (except now I don't work in the legal field at all anymore - I'm an executive assistant to the president of a credit union).

43. I'm extremely confident in that if I had chosen to go to law school, I would have done well and would be, in fact, working at some Boston firm, making good money.

44. But I'm even more confident that I made the right choice when I decided that I just didn't want the school debt to enter a career that would practically require me to give up any personal life I have in order to be successful. (AMEN, AMEN, AMEN)

45. I think it is extremely tough for a female to be taken seriously in several different professions, and law is one of those professions, and therefore, women have to work twice as hard as men, in order to be seen as the "bitches" they need to be to be taken seriously. I didn't want to deal with that crap.

46. Most lawyers I know, male or female, hate their jobs.(still true)

47. I won't tell you that being a paralegal was or is my dream job, but I actually enjoy what I do, and aside from my gripes here at The Firm, I like my job. (I wasn't exactly "lying" here, but I think I was in serious denial...I hated that freakin' job. My current job, however? I LOVE).

48. I especially like the fact that when I leave at the end of the day, I leave my job behind me. I don't take work home, I don't have to think about it until the next morning, and I can focus on the rest of my life. (I still love that and it is actually true of this job).

49. While at one point I thought I would be a "career driven" person, I've realized that my motivation to work has changed as I have gotten older. I'm now driven by the desire to have a good, happy, comfortable life. I work to live, I don't live to work. (yep)

50. I don't have a problem with that.

Okay, I'll leave it at that for today, but maybe next Wednesday we'll do the next 50...